The end of last year was difficult... I had too much going on trying to juggle work full time, you two kids, a home, flying lessons, photography and some of the most unrelenting drama that for some reason, seems to fall in MY lap at no fault of my own.
I have so many photos to upload since my last photo post. I'm talking hundreds of photos so it is going to take a lot of time. Time I unfortunately, don't seem to have enough of these days. BUT I'm not giving up. I've stowed away your baby books with the good intention that I will keep up this blog and have SOMETHING for my babies to look at when they are no longer babies. (*Ehem* You will always be MY babies of course... but you understand what I mean).
On a side note ~ I've learned a few things over the past 6 months and I want to tell you about one of them...
I try hard to surround myself with good people (you should too) - but truly good people are hard to find and one day you will realize that no matter how hard you try, unless you become completely satisfied with the fact that YOU are a good person, that YOU don't lie, cheat and steal your way through life and that YOU are happy with who you are inside and out... there will always be people that challenge your spirit. If you aren't content with who you are you will compare yourself constantly and you will let the liars and the cheats break you down.
The hardest part about being around people who are challenging to deal with, is that sometimes you are forced to be around them. I don't know if it was Boss' new found love for life after his cancer diagnosis, hormones getting back to normal after having babies and breast feeding or just being sick of feeling overwhelmed, but a few things finally just clicked inside of me: I'm young. I'm talented. I'm a good person. I don't LIE to my friends and family... and I don't know anyone that I would rather be than me. Once I started reflecting on this... I thought about something that a friend had said and everything - all the stress and all the unimportant things - seemed to disappear. She said " Just remember Fer, YOU CAN WALK AWAY FROM THEM, BUT THEY CAN'T WALK AWAY FROM THEMSELVES". It's so true! Think about it... Chances are there will be kids that make fun of you growing up, boyfriends or girlfriends that will break your heart, people you never imagined hurting you WILL. But as long as you are a good person - if you have a good grip on what that means - you will be fine because you can walk away from those people but they can't walk away from themselves. People who are mean and hateful to you are jealous. They can't think outside of the box because they are too busy trying to look inside yours. And why wouldn't they? You are far more interesting ;)
I have no doubt that the two of you will be amazing people. I hope it takes less time for you to realize this than it took me. You have one life and it's so short and sweet. It's too precious to waste immersed in anything other than your own dreams and aspirations. Take a leap of faith when you feel like you can't. Ask for help. Don't conform to an idea that's not yours. BE YOURSELF. Your daddy and I will love you no matter what.
